Sunday, November 30, 2003
I sit here just thinking casualy about my future. Just thinking about it no action involved. I am plagued with distractinos. I am plugged into the media right now. I am watching tv and I am online as I do nothing about my own future! Why do I do this. Am I just so lazy and hopeless that I can just blow off this chance to make my life good?! I sit here talking to nobody (sorry yall) about, oh I am so much in trouble but I got hope I will do better. But I keep passing up these chances. I keep handing my life over for a little bit of pleasure, I would like to say this will end. I can not guarentee that. Precident says I won't. But I can not let my past rule me. Pht listen to me I am just doing it again. I am making excuses and providing solutions that will not happen. Learn from my mistakes. Do not make them.
Man oh man I am so down. School starts tomorrow. Going there brings me down like a ton of bricks strapped to my neck. I go to school and wait for the weekend, the weekend ends and I have nothing to look forward except the next weekend. Eventually school will be over. I will then put all these years of pain to use by trying to get into another school. The point of college is to get knowledge to land you a mediocre job for about thirty years. Then you retire and sit there. You sit there and become a drain on society. When life is narrowed down to that, kinda makes you go hmm doesn't it.
I have been enjoying posting my political views and opinions about other subjects on my other blog. Even though almost all my friends think the site sucks I still enjoyed it. Until tonight. I started thinking what do I know. I am just a fucking junior. The peops out there with their own blogs about politics are much older then me and much smarter. I am starting to wonder why I even bothered getting my site in the first place. My opinion doesn't really matter. For the moment I will keep it, even though 75% of the hits I get are my friends.
This is my first post so I will let you in on my situation as it is. I am a Junior at a private school in some town America. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I am good at nothing. My friends abandon me every chance they get. I can trust no one. Sad life isn't it. If that is not enough at least once a month I question my very existence. I got this blog so I can just think out loud if you will to people who do not know me. The stuff I put on here is the stuff I can not put on my main blog. So there is the lay down, if some peops come around and read this crap of mine I will be lucky but I have to tell some body my frustrations, and yall are the lucky peops who get to read those frustrations.